Woman are clever…
I got this funny email today and thought I would post it here…
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, ‘If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.’
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, ‘Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!’
The woman said, ‘That’s okay.’
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, ‘You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to’.
The woman replied, ‘That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.’
So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, ‘That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.’
The woman said, ‘That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.’
So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, ‘I’d like a mild heart attack.’
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
……….
………
……..
…….
……
…..
….
…
..
..
.
.
…
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they’re really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that Women never listen now run along and put the kettle on, there’s a love.
Public Dumps
First of all, let me apologize for the immaturity of this post. 
We had a ‘discussion’, if you will, today at work regarding public acts of the squat and dump exercise, also know as, taking a shit. I don’t know how this came up, it just did and I found it utterly hilarious.
One story was a very well known story within the city; in fact, if I remember correctly, it made the headlines in the local newspapers. It was about a piece of security footage of a mall that found it’s way into youtube. It shows some idiot walking through the mall. Suddenly he stops, looks around, squats on one of the planters and does his duty. Why he even bothered to look around is beyond me; there were people walking by him the whole time and it didn’t phase his concentration. Plus, being a mall, there is a good chance that the toilets were not far away. I also heard that some people lost their jobs after the footage was leaked out.
Another story happened to a friend of mine actually. We had gone camping one summer and, being absolutely intoxicated as well as lazy, one of my female friends decides she will not walk the 100 yards to the washroom. Instead, she walks over to the neighboring campsite which was vacant and takes a dump in the fire pit. We just watched in awe. I don’t think any of us expected that from her nor did any of us look at her the same way afterwards. The funny thing is, the campsite was no longer vacant by the time we awoke from our drunken slumber the next morning. Early that evening, we were approached by a park official regarding a possible incident next door. We told him that we didn’t see anybody in the camp site other than a gentleman who was sitting near the fire pit with his dog yesterday.
Another story was told regarding a hooker. Apparently a couple of co-workers of mine, who take the same way home, witnessed a prostitute squatting above a sewer drain and taking a shit like it was no big deal. She got up, walked over to her corner, and lit a cigarette.
The final story I will tell was actually performed by one of my co-workers. Apparently, he had hated the manager of the previous apartment that he had lived in. Knowing that this manager liked to take morning swims in the apartment pool, my co-worker decided, on his last night as a tenant, to pay him back for being such a prick all those years. He snuck into the pool room, which was locked up after a certain time and took a, in his description, massive dump in the pool.
Sorry to have to share that with you folks but I found it too funny to keep to myself and my girlfriend sure as shit wouldn’t have wanted to listen to em.