One story was a very well known story within the city; in fact, if I remember correctly, it made the headlines in the local newspapers. It was about a piece of security footage of a mall that found it’s way into youtube. It shows some idiot walking through the mall. Suddenly he stops, looks around, squats on one of the planters and does his duty. Why he even bothered to look around is beyond me; there were people walking by him the whole time and it didn’t phase his concentration. Plus, being a mall, there is a good chance that the toilets were not far away. I also heard that some people lost their jobs after the footage was leaked out.

Another story happened to a friend of mine actually. We had gone camping one summer and, being absolutely intoxicated as well as lazy, one of my female friends decides she will not walk the 100 yards to the washroom. Instead, she walks over to the neighboring campsite which was vacant and takes a dump in the fire pit. We just watched in awe. I don’t think any of us expected that from her nor did any of us look at her the same way afterwards. The funny thing is, the campsite was no longer vacant by the time we awoke from our drunken slumber the next morning. Early that evening, we were approached by a park official regarding a possible incident next door. We told him that we didn’t see anybody in the camp site other than a gentleman who was sitting near the fire pit with his dog yesterday.

Another story was told regarding a hooker. Apparently a couple of co-workers of mine, who take the same way home, witnessed a prostitute squatting above a sewer drain and taking a shit like it was no big deal. She got up, walked over to her corner, and lit a cigarette.

The final story I will tell was actually performed by one of my co-workers. Apparently, he had hated the manager of the previous apartment that he had lived in. Knowing that this manager liked to take morning swims in the apartment pool, my co-worker decided, on his last night as a tenant, to pay him back for being such a prick all those years. He snuck into the pool room, which was locked up after a certain time and took a, in his description, massive dump in the pool.

Sorry to have to share that with you folks but I found it too funny to keep to myself and my girlfriend sure as shit wouldn’t have wanted to listen to em.

1) For a prequel, this does not tie in to the first movie at all

2) The acting was horrendous - UFC fighter, Randy Couture was one of the better actors (what does that tell you)

3) Main hero has a female companion who happens to be a long time friend and ends up being his lover; now, who would have expected that?

4) The hero comes fresh out of training and is able to kill all of the King’s personal guards (who are supposed to be the best in his army) by himself in his very first battle

5) Despite being a 2008 movie this had some of the worst CG I have seen in a long time - the cloud of smoke in the beginning and the giant, invisible scorpion at the end were so amateurish it was funny

6) The story shoots from one point to the next with absolutely no rational string to tie the sequences together

7) The hero party successfully puts out a fire by jumping around it and throwing sand on it even though they were covered in oil themselves

Answers to how and why the villain became king in the first place was not provided; I would figure this to be pretty important information

9) The large, invisible scorpion can demolish an entire wall but can only knick the pillars, that the hero hides behind, a little bit at a time

10) One of the dramatic fight maneuvers employed by the hero is to prop himself between two pillars as a villain charges at him. Instead of stabbing the hero, who put himself in a ridiculously vulnerable spot for no reason, the villain stops dead in his tracks only to be kicked in the face. Fucking dumb scene!!

11) The great sword (which looked like a basic steel sword) that they were searching for was found unguarded inside of a cave, just spinning in the air

12) As powerful as the queen of the underworld was, in her own home by the way, she was unable to stop the hero party - I honestly can’t remember how they got away; I think they just simply ran away

…I’ll stop at twelve because I’ve wasted enough of my time on this piece of shit movie. Heed my warning: do not watch it!!

NEhoo, I just don’t see the point of leaving a tip; they provided me with no service other than preparing the food and that’s what the initial payment is for, correct? They didn’t phone me to see what I wanted for dinner, I called them. They didn’t bring the food to me when it was done, I drove to them. They didn’t wipe my dining room table for me, I wiped it. They didn’t refill my drink when my glass was empty? I refilled it. They didn’t do my dishes when I was done, I cleaned them(actually my girlfriend did but that’s besides the point). So, what would I be giving them a tip for? Hell, they should be giving me a fucking tip. Next time I go to pick up food I think I’ll bring a tip jar with me and waive it in front of their face.

I wouldn’t tip somebody at a McDonald’s or Burger King drive through, would you? Or, how about the cashier at a self-serve gas station? Hell, no. I earned my money so why would I just give it away. Not to get off topic but I also hate cashiers who ask if you want your damned change. Sure, its’ only 15 fucking cents but that’s my 15 fucking cents. Hell yeah I want my change!!

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Men: What’s the point of a promise ring

Women: The Promise Ring is a symbol of commitment.

M: But, isn’t a wedding ring supposed to be a symbol of commitment?

W: A Promise Ring is to symbolize the promise to wed one day.

M: Now, isn’t that the purpose of an engagement ring?

W: Well a Promise Ring is to symbolize the promise to be engaged to wed one day.

M: That’s dumb.

W: Your dumb!!

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…and so on and so forth. My question is: what’s next, a Pledge Ring to symbolize the pledge to promise to be engaged to wed one day? I mean, when will this bullshit end? Why the hell do men constantly have to reassure women that they’re together? Are women so fucking insecure nowadays?

Don’t get me wrong. If it is an issue of insecurity, maybe we should take a closer look as to why that is. Is it the marriage failure rate of today that have all of these women needing men to reassure that it’s the real deal? Possibly. Is it the fact that cheating on your partner has become more common than the cold and now women need something to symbolize belonging (or ownership)? Maybe.

The sad part is, jewelry companies are gobbling this shit up like turkey on thanksgiving and men are left with another hole in the wallet. Oh, and what’s this crap about a “3 months’ pay for an engagement ring” rule? But, that’s a rant for another day.

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Quick summary of the book:

A Shepard boy has a recurring dream about pyramids. After a talk with a fortune teller and a self-proclaimed King, the boy comes to the conclusion that there is a great treasure to be found in the pyramids. He gives up his beloved nomadic lifestyle of a Shepard boy and takes off. During his journey, the boy must listen to the voice of the world and his heart in order to recognize the omens that would eventually lead him to the pyramids.

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Like I said, it’s a pretty good book but after all the hype I got I couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed. However, I would still recommend this book to others as a ‘good read’. If you do read it, take the time to really read it. I finished it rather quickly and that could be why I didn’t enjoy it as much as others. Don’t just read the book, read into the book as there are a lot of hidden messages and foreshadows in it. Almost like a modern day Shakespeare.

People who register for this program have their photo and information stored by the provincial casinos and, if caught trying to enter a casino, are escorted back out and can even be arrested for trespassing. The lawsuit claims that the program simply doesn’t work and those who have registered are still allowed into casinos.

I find this absolutely ludicrous. Is it suddenly okay for people to no longer accept responsibilities for their own actions? Everybody is blaming everyone else for their own fuckin issues and shortcomings. I think the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation is doing a great deed to society by even proposing a program such as this. They have taken public welfare into consideration even though it means loss of income. And, what do they get in return? A fucking slap in the face in the form of a $3.5 billion dollar lawsuit thrown by the very people they are trying to help.

If I was the gaming corporation, I would plea bargain for less money, scrap the program, give all of those people VIP into the casinos with their own parking spot and seat on their favorite table, and let all of those fucking retards piss their money back into the corporation. Little bitches.

That’s right, both the regular and “special 100 calorie” snack bars had 100 calories. And, get this; the size of the special bars is 22g while the regular is 26g. Plus the special bars had 3.5g of fat while the regular had 2g of fat.

What a fucking rip off!

And, while I’m on the subject, those 100 calorie ‘thin’ chocolate bars are a fucking rip off as well. Sure they have less than half the calories of a regular sized bar. But, they’re also less than half the size and yet cost the fucking same price!!

Seriously, the pubic is really getting into this ‘healthier lifestyle’ trend and the big companies just fucking take advantage of it. And the sad part is, as consumers we’re eating this marketing ploy right up. Gobble fucking gobble!!

But wait!! The garbage on the other side of the street has yet to be picked up. Ingenious!! So I do a quick 10 minute clean up and haul the trash outside. As I’m dumping my shit along with my neighbor’s across the street. The neighbor next door comes out with his lawn mower. He looks at what I’m doing and gives me that disappointed head shake. You know. The one your parents used to give you when you did something stupid as a kid.

Anyway, what fucking right did this cocksucker have to look down on me?!?! Was I doing anything criminal or illegal? It’s not like I didn’t know the guy who’s front boulevard I’m stashing my trash on. And, even if I didn’t know him, is it really a big fucking deal? He’s not paying any extra fees because of it. It’s not like I’m ripping off the garbage collectors or the city by doing what I was.

Stupid little bitch. Shake your head at me will you? I think my dog’s gonna have a new favorite place to make his ‘daily deposits’ from now on.

And, please don’t give us that “You should know what I’m angry about” bullshit. We fucking hate that. If you have to say that, then obviously we don’t bloody know, right?

Sorry. But when it comes to dealing with issues, men do not like to play fucking games. We simply like to deal with em. We lay it out there, throw some cussing in, and in the end, it gets resolved.

So, please, stop with the silent treatment. It simply doesn’t work. And to tell you the truth, it doesn’t bother us as much as you think it does. We don’t exactly spend that time thinking about what it was we did wrong; because we know you’ll have to tell us eventually. No, we spend that quiet time to reflect on the hockey scores of the day and how it effects our point spread.

End rant.

So anyway, I decided that there is no way I’m staying behind this guy. Hell, the people behind me are already peeling into the next lane with the same idea. The shitty thing is, as I mentioned, it’s pretty busy and I know I’m gonna hafta cut somebody off to get to the next lane.

So, the next opening I saw I went for it. Uh oh. Didn’t see that guy on my blindspot. All I hear is people slamming on the brakes behind me and I nearly shit my pants cause I know that there’s no turning back. With a symphony of horns on my tail I pass the slow ass piece of shit and I see him staring at me like I’m a fucking maniac.

Did I mention that I had a couple of passengers in my car? Well, they weren’t too pleased with my performance and they’re giving me a fucking earful. Fuck. Stupid slow ass driver. If you ask me, he’s the danger on the road, not me!!