Public Dumps
First of all, let me apologize for the immaturity of this post. 
We had a ‘discussion’, if you will, today at work regarding public acts of the squat and dump exercise, also know as, taking a shit. I don’t know how this came up, it just did and I found it utterly hilarious.
One story was a very well known story within the city; in fact, if I remember correctly, it made the headlines in the local newspapers. It was about a piece of security footage of a mall that found it’s way into youtube. It shows some idiot walking through the mall. Suddenly he stops, looks around, squats on one of the planters and does his duty. Why he even bothered to look around is beyond me; there were people walking by him the whole time and it didn’t phase his concentration. Plus, being a mall, there is a good chance that the toilets were not far away. I also heard that some people lost their jobs after the footage was leaked out.
Another story happened to a friend of mine actually. We had gone camping one summer and, being absolutely intoxicated as well as lazy, one of my female friends decides she will not walk the 100 yards to the washroom. Instead, she walks over to the neighboring campsite which was vacant and takes a dump in the fire pit. We just watched in awe. I don’t think any of us expected that from her nor did any of us look at her the same way afterwards. The funny thing is, the campsite was no longer vacant by the time we awoke from our drunken slumber the next morning. Early that evening, we were approached by a park official regarding a possible incident next door. We told him that we didn’t see anybody in the camp site other than a gentleman who was sitting near the fire pit with his dog yesterday.
Another story was told regarding a hooker. Apparently a couple of co-workers of mine, who take the same way home, witnessed a prostitute squatting above a sewer drain and taking a shit like it was no big deal. She got up, walked over to her corner, and lit a cigarette.
The final story I will tell was actually performed by one of my co-workers. Apparently, he had hated the manager of the previous apartment that he had lived in. Knowing that this manager liked to take morning swims in the apartment pool, my co-worker decided, on his last night as a tenant, to pay him back for being such a prick all those years. He snuck into the pool room, which was locked up after a certain time and took a, in his description, massive dump in the pool.
Sorry to have to share that with you folks but I found it too funny to keep to myself and my girlfriend sure as shit wouldn’t have wanted to listen to em.
Posted by Frank N. Stein
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